In one month that “Busy” time will hit us again. The push and shove, the hair pulling, the bumper to bumpers, the shouts and screams, the requests the demands, the fits, the tears, and the joy of Christmas all tightly bundled together.

I’m just your friendly neighborhood Spider-man, kindly reminding you of the day that is fast approaching.

Smile!

Here’s a few suggestions of gifts to get for a friendly neighbor.

The Stealth Switch- for the truly addicted and communicative.

Bio Computer-On-a- Stick- for the want to be stealthy computer nerd.

The Cubes (cubicle playset)- An anger management help.

Tune Juice iPod battery extender- for the extended Ipod user.

TV-B-Gone- Unless it’s ESPN of course.

Key Katcher- for the up and coming computer nerd.

Blunt Desktop Signs- For those days when you wished you were on an island.

Dating Design Patterns- For the prankster in all of us. (a secret, just between you and me…I could perhaps use it.)

Cypherpunk- So people might finally learn.

A sweatshirt- For the ultimate Nowitzki fan.

I discovered a rare find today…a Professional Black swimmer, Cullen Jones.

And they say black people can’t swim.

My answer to them…One in a million my friends. One in a million.

This post is going to be about a wide assortment of subjects, so bare with me.

I’ve been researching online writing courses and schools. None of them have really stuck out though. I’ve gathered that they all cost around $150-$500. Unfortunately I don’t have that kind of cash. So the library will have to suffice for now. But someday I would like to go to a College bookstore and buy used books, and study on my own. Just like Matt Damon’s character in Good Will Hunting.
Today the Sports Guy had his chat marathon. I find those quite entertaining, good thing they only happen ever so often. Here’s one of his question/answers, that I found odd.

David (Philadelphia): When are you going to write a column about the US hoops team? Even an offhanded “I told you so” would be nice (Mens not Womens, just to be clear, since I know you were equally surprised that a team of WNBA superstars didn’t win the gold either)

SportsNation Bill Simmons: (1:44 PM ET ) You know, I was going to write about it the following week, but I only got about 40 emails about it. I just don’t think anyone cares. Same for the Ryder Cup. We now expect to lose these competitions, no matter what the sport is. I blame President Bush. We were a dominant world power athletically until he took over. Now we’re a laughingstock. if he were a GM, we would have fired him by now.

The reason it stuck out…the Sports Guy usually stays out of politics. There’s only one other time that I know of that he spoke about politics was on the Colbert Report.

I want to travel. The whole world.
I like my last name. Alot. I don’t want to lose it, unless Phelps or a similar name wants to replace it.
I took a quick test two weeks ago, and I got a B/C average.
My Temperment is Gaurdian. Here’s what it means.

Guardians are the cornerstone of society, for they are the temperament given to serving and preserving our most important social institutions. Guardians have natural talent in managing goods and services–from supervision to maintenance and supply–and they use all their skills to keep things running smoothly in their families, communities, schools, churches, hospitals, and businesses.

Guardians can have a lot of fun with their friends, but they are quite serious about their duties and responsibilities. Guardians take pride in being dependable and trustworthy; if there’s a job to be done, they can be counted on to put their shoulder to the wheel. Guardians also believe in law and order, and sometimes worry that respect for authority, even a fundamental sense of right and wrong, is being lost. Perhaps this is why Guardians honor customs and traditions so strongly–they are familiar patterns that help bring stability to our modern, fast-paced world.

Practical and down-to-earth, Guardians believe in following the rules and cooperating with others. They are not very comfortable winging it or blazing new trails; working steadily within the system is the Guardian way, for in the long run loyalty, discipline, and teamwork get the job done right. Guardians are meticulous about schedules and have a sharp eye for proper procedures. They are cautious about change, even though they know that change can be healthy for an institution. Better to go slowly, they say, and look before you leap.

Guardians make up as much as 40 to 45 percent of the population.

Do you think it describes me?

I’ve been clean for 3 weeks. I want a Mountain Dew. (and no it’s not self inflicted torture, just the chance to go to a store hasn’t presented itself.)

But this weekend….ahh…can’t wait.

Day 3. Half way point.
Today we accomplished his full school routine. (with the help of a few bribes, such as milk, lunch, and snacks.)

I also learned a new trick, he’s really interested in “real” life stories, such as when I was a kid. So now I tell him I’ll tell him a story if he does such and such. Doing this made me realize that I’m not a kids story teller. I think my vocabulary is to big, because I have to explain everything twice or thrice times.

I’m quite happy with his sleep schedule. Surprisingly he hasn’t had a problem with going to be at 8:30. He actually falls a sleep relatively quickly, which is rather unusual, because at home he’s usually the last kid asleep. He’s also been waking up later, today was 7:30, the day before was 8:00.

I decided that this post needed to be postive. So quite a few things have been deleted and stripped, white out was also used, etc. etc. etc.

Well 3 days to go.

Pray for me.

The Fantasy god’s hate me. They literally hate me.

I took a risk and switched up my starter QB spot, gave Warner the job because Hasslebeck hasn’t been reliable…the week he has a 29 point turn around!

Then Shaun Alexander…breaks his foot!

Not that he’s been doing all that good, but argh…now I”m officially finished.

What have I to offer?

Warner…he’s going once…who wants him?

Watch…once I give him up…wambam. He’ll have a 25 point avg. with a superbowl ring.

Or maybe I just jinxed him.

I’m going to be a mother.

Gabriel visted me in my sleep last night. He told me I was blessed among women, and that God had chosen me for the task of having a son.  He said because I’ve been such a cool person he was going to speed up the process so what would normally take 6 years, 4 months and 3 days will only take a few hours. I agreed. How can you turn down God? (or his messengers)
And it was so.

For the next 5 days I’m going to be caring for a kid whom we shall call…Mark. He’s 5. He’s a taurus. He’s kinda stubborn and a little naughty, but cool none the less.

Since this whole “parenting” thing is new to me, I’m going to share with you all of our daily adventures, which I’m sure there will be plenty of.

I think this whole thing is plenty cool. Because IF I ever have kids, I would like to have 3 boys. Today I’m experiencing
2/3 ’s of dream. I’m watching “Mark”, and his friend…”Peter” who is 4.

Only thing is, I’m not so sure of the whole single parent deal.

So far it’s going pretty good, besides the Nerf gun and banana milk fights, but you know…boy will be boys.

The Forward:

It is required to go to confession at least once a year, I have only gone once in my life, so this is to make up for the 6 years of lack.

***

*Signals Cross* In nómine Patris, et Fílii, et Spíritus Sancti. In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Amen.

Father forgive me for my sins. I have had impure thoughts…bountifully.

There is one particular sin that I would like to confess. It happened 4 months ago, to this day.

There was a birthday party that some friends and I attended. It was there that I sinned. Mightly.

There was this guy…

“It all happened so fast.”

…or not.

To give some background, J*r was annoying me. He had this tendency to hit me when passing by in the hall. At first it was semi humorous, but after a while, it got annoying. So in retaliation, I punched him back. J*r thought it was funny…so he punched me in the stomach. I punched him back in the stomach. (You know, the Greeks used to think the soul was in the stomach) He then punched me in the jaw.

*Punch meaning, harder than tap, softer than powerful punch.

Someone saw this exchange (they shall remain anonymous) and gave me a sneaky idea.

This is when I gave in to temptation.

I asked for an egg. I received one. I then strategically deposited it in J*r’s bag (purse).

After my success, I didn’t quite feel comfortable. I thought about my deed, considered greatly the consequences…and decided one wasn’t enough.

So I asked for another. Again, I did receive. I then strategically placed the second egg into the bag.

I felt completely ecstatic.

During this time, I figured that he would go through his bag relatively soon. Like that night, maybe the next day, because some precious valuables were kept in it, like a wallet and PDA.

Turns out…he didn’t until a week later. The eggs had cracked inside the bag. My strategically placed items had done their job…and more.

Unfortunately, first, second, and third accusations went to my friend, Angel. She suffered greatly for my cause.

I feel horrible.

Funnily enough, he suspected everyone around…except me.

That made me feel even worse.

After four months of anonymity, I felt the need to confess.

***

Afterward:

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee; blessed art thou amongst women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death. Amen.
Ave Maria, gratia plena Dominus tecum; Benedicta tu in mulieribus, et benedictus fructus ventris tui, Jesus. Sancta Maria, Mater Dei ora pro nobis peccatoribus, nunc et in hora mortis nostrae. Amen.

(repeats 20 times)

Today I read that Tom Clancy is from Baltimore, and that his birthday is April 12.

I found that to be coincidental, because I’m from Baltimore, and my birthday is April 11.

Also Edgar Allan Poe is from Baltimore.

And that silly romance novelist Nora Roberts (who by the way has written over 100 novels. Insane.) is too.
So I figure: A. I’m in good company. Or B. I can never succeed to their greatness.

In truth my feelings are experiencing a bit of both.

I also read that Baltimore City (not to be mistaken with Baltimore County) has the second highest crime rate. Detriot is holding the top spot. Thankfully though I’m from the County.
A not-so-rare-moment of honesty…I’m missing the East Coast. Strangely I’m missing Baltimore County.

Strangely because I swore to myself that I would never miss it.

I especially miss Lacrosse, and buildings, and odd people, and Modell’s/Sports Authority/Play it Again Sports, and GameStop, and driving, and Seven Elevens, and Towson, and Sunday’s at Bill’s Music Store, and Wednesday evening basketball at Centennial Park, and, and the ESPN Zone/Inner Harbor.
“Against my will she bids me to dinner…”

Why did I trade Eli Manning? Why, oh why, oh why?

The person I traded him to isn’t even using him as a starter. He’s sitting on the bench being wasted.

Rubbish.

Hasslebeck, oh Hassel-back. He’s a dissappointment. Infact so is Shaun Alexander. Infact of the fact…so is the whole Seattle team.

My fantasy team is one of those medicore teams, that isn’t bad, but isn’t good. Just steady plops around. A .500 team.

It’s probably the Fantasy Gods jinxing me for naming them the San Diego Fargers.

Fargers for the failing Chargers.

Should have thought of it before. I just figured it would be funny, seeing as I live in San Diego…the Chargers. Well…it isn’t funny.
Now I have to figure out what I need. I mean, my guys aren’t bad, infact NORMALLY they are pretty good. It’s just the start of this year, isn’t going good.

People call them off days…but inactuallity they are off WEEKS. Each week is important, cuz well there is only 13.

Also I had 2 bye weeks in a row, which is a good thing I suppose. It gave me time to figure out my game plan, which I’m still working on.
But he who fights and runs away lives to fight another day…or he who doesn’t fight.

No looking back. Only forward from here.

I’m going to try something new.

Seeing as everyone in SoCal reads everyones blogs, even if they don’t know everyone so well…I’m going to try an Invitational Post. and hopefully everyone will read it.

On Saturday Night, September 16th, we’re going to have a Birthday party over at the TEAM home for our beloved Dulcinea.

You are all invited…LA and all.

The plan is still coming together, but we know that it’ll start somewhere around 9 or 9:30pm. Dress code is casual, and you can even wear your pajamas if you like.

There will be Karaoke and Milkshakes, talking, and such. If you want to bring your own drinks you can.

Also if you would like to bring Dulcy a gift…she really likes chocolate, lotions, body sprays, etc.

Hope to see all of your beautiful smiling faces….Or something.